Tylerian, house of Tryan.

My name is Tylerian, and I am an alv.  Not an elv.  Not an elf.  An alv.


I have been told that you humans aren’t familiar with the term.  An alv is a humanoid creature whose most distinguishing features are long, pointed ears, and big, amber eyes.  Alves average about 7’4″, fully grown and in their prime.

Elves are humanoid as well, and also have pointed ears, but they are shorter, and more majykal.  They can create such majyk that elfs and alves cannot.  Alves can make basic majyk, like healing lacerations, but if the lacerations were created by a basilisk, or some other type of enchanted weapon/creature, then we would be out of luck.

Figuratively, of course.  There have only been a few alves in the past eras who have run out of luck.

Elfs are the least dignified of our brethren.  They are small, pudgy, and spend most of their time hibernating.  When they do get up, they make widgets and junk to give to you humans under the supervision of the biggest and happiest of them all– Saint Claus.  This, of course, all happens during the winter.  And then, in the middle of winter, Saint Claus gets all riled up and decides to go on a gift run.

I think he might be high, or mentally impaired in some sort.  You humans have a song called “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer”, I believe?  Yes?  Yeah, that actually happened.  Someone called in a few elves for cleanup, but they didn’t get there in time and… you know the rest.


There.  I hope that cleared things up.  If not… try to just avoid trying to classify by species.   Trust me when I say you really, really don’t want to call an alv an elf.



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